teacher: What's the most important thing to remember during an earthquake?
me: have fun and be yourself

fohk:

*is proud of dark circles*

*is proud of looking like death*

sailingonsuccess:

this will be the first generation of moms that know you’re unable to pause a multiplayer game

reinventingthekarmicwheel:

girl: i love you

me: welcome to the club

girl: *gets offended and walks away*

me: …u were the first member

like if u cried

idioticteen:

David Guetta Feat. The person who sings the whole song 

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

rogueavantgarde:

vinegod:

How to get out of saying the “L” word by Victory Brinker

😂😭😭😂

abilliondollarsonaelevator:

I’m screaming ME

abilliondollarsonaelevator:

I’m screaming ME

ignitionremix:

I’ve never broken a bone which just seems too suspicious to me I probably don’t have any bones